Don't even think about the venizen!

This restaurant better have vegan entrees, you know I don't eat meat! By the way, whatever happened to Donder????

Any way to turn this thing off in public?

Please let me marry Blitzen.

I am serious Santa, those bullies still won't let me play their stupid reindeer games.

"We wouldn't be here if you knew how to read a map!"

I just pulled you and your overloaded sleigh all over the world, lit the way with this brightly shining nose, and NOW you expect me to buy your breakfast, too?!

"Are you kidding me?" "I have to have salad?"

"These are the voyages of the Rudolph Reindeer nose - it's one night mission - to lead Santa's sleigh - to seek out good girls and boys - and to boldly glow where no nose has glowed before." Or do you think that's too derivative?

" I hear the food is great - all the flying sleigh drivers eat here."

" ...and in the talent show Pinocchio and I do a duet of, 'Nobody Nose the Trouble I've Seen.' "

" Santa, you've been reading WAY too much Dan Brown; and that does NOT mean I'm a member of the Illuminati."

" It's your wife's fault we can't get it to fly - she changed detergents. She should KNOW your sleigh must only be washed down using Tide With Acti-Lift."

"... and make sure you ask for toast, too - do NOT embarrass me by just asking for a bowl full of jelly."

" It's an allergic reaction to some store brand the elves washed my collar in. Mrs. Claus knows it can only be washed in Christmas Cheer, or Yule Tide."

Well Rodolph Looks like they don't offer Milk and cookies.would you consider sprite and Donuts?

Waddya mean you replaced me with a GPS !!!!

"Just coffee, and enough with the nose jokes - I do not need an AMP Energy Drink. "

" Santa, stop worrying - I'm sure the sleigh will be fine parked on the street. I know the neighborhood looks a bit rough, but there's so much Christmas cheer here - I can still hear those men in cars calling, 'Ho, Ho, Ho!' to the ladies on the corner!"

I want a Margarita, and I want it now!

Are you serious about getting L.W. his very own cartoonist for Christmas?

Sorry about that quick stop but that car's headlights were shining right at me.

Go ahead, order the most expensive meal, I'm writing it off as a business expense

If we don't make better time this year, you will be a menu item...

You forgot your wallet again? Are you playing one of those reindeer games?

Please Santa, Try the veal!

LW Sagan - Quality not quantity please!

They told me at "AA" that this would be gone by Easter!

"No beans in my burrito, Santa......I'm in the lead spot again this year."

What do you mean we should get it to go?

Times are tough these days, you need to order from the left side of the menu!

OHHH.. I forgot to feed the meter and we are taking up 8 spaces!

Oh Rudolph......You're so gullible, no.... Rocky Mountain Oysters aren't really made from Reindeer...

Santa I still say put a C.D. of this video in the Christmas stockings of the liberals.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9afXNm-klM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Let me guess Santa, milk and cookies again!

Dude... seriously? Ketchup on a hot dog? Ya I'm embarassed!

Listen Santa, I don't care if you can't afford the Obamacare premiums for the full staff, I can't pull the thing by myself!

Why even read the menu? You know you always order the milk and cookies anyway.

-Spiro

No. I do not think I'll qualify for the 'kids eat free' promotion. I don't look the least bit like a baby goat.

If I have to replace my incandescent nose with a squiggly flourescent I'm going to look ridiculous!

Listen Ole' Timer, use the flashlight app on your cell phone to read the menu - what do I look like?

Jalapeño poppers keep my nose nice and bright!

Nothing for me. I am flying tonight.

Santa, if you try that "I got your nose" trick on me in public I'm going to have YOU mounted above my fireplace!

Order a milkshake for me and be sure they put a cherry on top of it.

Twas the moment before lunching,
when all through the diner,
Rudolph's stomach was grumbling,
while Santa told risque one-liners.

I know your fans like a certain body image but, I think you should stick with vegan.